Remembering Helen

 It is with a heavy heart to share that my Grammy, Helen, passed away just three days after Beau was born.  She never got a chance to meet the little guy.  If she had been in better health, she would have been in Georgia to greet him, just days after his birth, like she did with Dean.  It was such a bittersweet time for our family to welcome a life and to witness a passing.  I was unable to attend the memorial service because it was in Pittsburgh.  My brother, Josh, read something for me at the service at my request.  

Here is a copy:

Helen___ was a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a great-grandmother and a friend to all who knew her.  She lived eighty precious years on this earth, but as her granddaughter, I wish she had lived at least eighty more.  Her legacy is one of love and laughter.  My fondest memories are of our family gathered around the dinner table after one of her excellent meals, laughing and talking for hours.

Although she was kind and gentle, she was no pushover.  There is a Chinese proverb that was popularized by the 2002 movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  The movie quote is as follows:  “It is said that husband is the head of the family, but remember that wife is the neck of the family and the neck can turn the head exactly the way she wants.”  Although she may have appeared behind the scenes, my Grammy had a hand in every pot on the proverbial stove.  My grandfather would agree with this statement every time we talked about it.  It was usually said in a joking manner, but I don’t think he minded because he knew his sweet, levelheaded wife was truly a gem.  She helped point all of us in the right direction at one time or another.

On Wednesday, January 4, I gave birth to my second son, Helen’s second great-grandson.  The day before, God pressed two things upon my heart.  The first was a bible verse, which I sent to my Grammy in a card.  She received it Friday and passed away on Saturday.  The verse was from Hebrews 10:36, “For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.”  The verse comforted me as much as I hope it was able to comfort her.  I know that on Saturday, when her spirit left her body, she was greeted warmly at the gates of Heaven as a true and faithful servant of Christ.

The second was a poem.  It is called “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep,” by Mary Frye.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!

It was an honor for me to know such a beautiful person.  I am comforted to know that she did not die. Her earthly body may remain, but her spirit is in heaven.  God had better stand aside and let her whip that place into shape.  I’m pretty sure if there is any dust up there, she’ll find it.

Grammy, you are so missed on this earth.  Words cannot express the sadness and the void that I feel now that you are in heaven.  I hope my life, my actions and words will make you proud of me as you watch upon us from above.